asshole of the week, TV edition!

Congratulations, Ivy Higa! You're the clear winner - leagues above the competition - of what will likely be my only blog entry entitled "asshole of the week"! YAY, IVY! Now go put on a top that says "Ivy H" on it and refer to yourself in third person - you've earned it, sassafrass!

Seriously, is there a more venomous asshole on (well, formerly on) the small screen than Project Runway's delusional design flop, Ivy Higa? I mean, besides Glenn Beck. And besides the increasingly ugly trio of Project Runway judges: Michael Kors, the opinionated bully with something nasty to say to everyone in the halls between class; Heidi Klum, the beautiful megabitch who laughs at every word out of MK's mouth; and ahhh, sweet Nina Garcia...the miserable c-word everyone hates because she's...well, a miserable c-word?

I question why I continue to watch this, the ONE reality show I will tolerate. Has the switch to the dreaded Lifetime, home of hyperestrogenated crap, been inching this once-fun show into the land of the near-unwatchable? Of course, I WILL continue to watch this show because Thursday nights have long been "date night" for me and two of my very best friends on the planet...over the years, our group has expanded to include some very significant others. And this Thursday night with a core group of friends is something that highlights my week, so I never want to miss it. But JEEEEEEEEEEEZUS does this show make for some stressful viewing. We talk throughout much of the show, and frequent rewinding to hear all the shit we missed is a regular thing...Thursday nights are less about Project Runway than about eating and laughing...and, more and more, getting highly emotional toward the TV set.

There's something worrisome - or at least weird - about the fact that my level of swearing at the TV during a LIFETIME reality show has begun to rival my level of swearing at the TV during hockey games. That's just not normal.

In any event, what does any of this have to do with my blog? Nothing. I just wanted to give props to fallen PR contestant Ivy - back on the show to apparently do nothing but bring the hate toward someone who has inexplicably been treated like shit by almost the whole cast from day one - for being the biggest asshole on TV in recent memory. (Though, like I said, we're not counting Glenn Beck, Rick Sanchez, or anyone involved in "real" news. Giving out asshole awards for that stuff would be too time consuming and, honestly, way too depressing.)

Counting the ways in which Ivy is an asshole of note is no small task. This is a woman who frequently refers to herself in the third person, whose speaking voice could make Joe Lieberman wince, and who, during last night's episode, felt the need to run around the design room notifying all the other designers of the asshole move she had just pulled. I mean, well done, if you're gunning for top asshole honors. Well done indeed, Ivy.

Note to the PR producers, if you're reading: Are you gearing up for a big, dramatic, end-of-season reveal about Michael C. that will explain the hate this dude has had to endure from nearly all sides? Does this man eat kittens live on the y'tubes for money or something? What gives?

On a final note, I'd like to say that this week's asshole runner up is none other than Heidi Klum herself, who, incidentally, I'm starting to suspect is hemorrhaging IQ points with each week's episode. La Klum has never been the MOST affectionate person on television, but she really outdid herself last night with her flat-out nasty critique of Mondo's early designs in the workroom (if you can call comments such as "maybe my Yorkie can fit into this" valid "critique") - followed by her utter SHOCK AND AWE when the diminutive design kook threw some of her attitude back at her. But...she's no Ivy.

Bless the editor who IMMEDIATELY followed Ivy's blathering drivel about "karma 'getting' Michael C." with footage of Ivy getting poked in the eye (hopefully by something sharp or acidic...was that mean?) and yelling, "OH SHIT, MY EYE!"

Instant karma's gonna get you, indeed. Asshole.