Demonic Discs of Temptation

I'm looking to lose 15 pounds this year. That's one of the things on my "stuff I'm not going to quit" list. Before anyone tells me "shut up, you're not fat" - I know I'm not fat. I just want to get myself back into shape, and maybe shed a little of the extra. My soul won't be crushed if I don't lose 15 lbs., but I'd like to try and do it.


Here's what doesn't help: fucking OREOS. Seriously, what is in these things, and why does my aunt keep buying them for my dad to bring to the office? CUTITOUT. I can't eat ONE Oreo. It's physically impossible, and against the laws of both science and nature. Even two feels like deprivation sometimes.


Why are Oreos so awesome? And, while I'm at it...why the hell is CHEESE so awesome? What about Bison Dip? I have Prader-Willie when Bison Dip is in the vicinity. I literally cannot sit down with "a few" chips and some Bison Dip and just be satisfied with that. I might as well just put on a lobster bib and throw down when it's anywhere near me, because I'm not going to be stopping at a reasonable point.


There's really no point to this particular blog entry. I just wanted to ask the universe why there are certain food items that exist solely to fuck with me. I mean, there's not ONE ounce of nutrition in half the things that taste awesome...and these are generally the kinds of foods that are completely addictive. WHY, LAWD???


If it takes me longer than I want to lose 15 pounds, you can blame Oreos. And my Aunt Lynne.